they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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