i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
