I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
