Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
