Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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