Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
