Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
