can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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