And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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