At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
