note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
