Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
