Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We just shotgunned beers for America
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
