I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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