Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
