dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
