so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
