I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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