Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
