so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
