Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
