Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
