The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I need moral support for this bender
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
