I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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