I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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