I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
