I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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