Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
