Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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