This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
