So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
