My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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