you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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