there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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