She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
