do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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