Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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