Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
