as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
