Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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