how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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