Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
