quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
