I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
