You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Don't make out with my wife yet
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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