my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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