Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
