it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
