Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
