hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
