we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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