Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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