so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
